Hey guys. I'm sorry I haven't posted in like a year. A lot has been happening in my life and at some point I started forgetting who I was. Metaphorically speaking.
But I've realized that no matter who I date, it won't change who I -am-.
I almost felt like I'd given up on my dreams because I didn't end up being in a relationship with the type of person I thought I'd end up with but you know what? I've actually never been happier <3
For the past year I hadn't been dressing lolita except at conventions but now that I look at visual kei music and lolita fashion I realize that they were both always much more to me than just music and clothes. They're who I am. And I spent years of my life looking for them even though I had no idea what I was looking for but I knew it when I found it. I'm never going to take a break from dressing lolita again. And honestly it's something I'll try and wear as long as possible if not my entire life. (Speaking of which.. I decided to sell off most of my former lolita wardrobe over here if anyone on my f-list is interested: http://azloli.livejournal.com/159493.html#cutid1
-a friend is selling them for me- in order to refresh my wardrobe and get pieces I'll actually be happier with.
I have also decided that I will live in Japan for some time; I'm not sure how exactly I'll pull that off yet but I do have a friend who's expressed interest in talking to lolita brands about me being a foreign model for them and personally I don't care what I'd be modeling, lolita or not, as long as it's not pornographic.
In other news, my parents are getting divorced and my family is a shambles but that part I can normally handle since it's always been like that. Turns out my father isn't who I grew up thinking I knew. Lately I've been having a lot of disappointments actually.
I've been in a really low mood ever since coming back from Phoenix Comic Con three days ago and I won't mention why on here but my close friends already know and if you don't and are interested then I'll just inbox message you. Let's just say I was inspired by and wanted to be friends with someone who may have betrayed my trust even after they complimented me several times and hugged me twice and instigated the hugs both times. On that note, I've been really getting into Plastic tree since last night and my mood's probably added to that. I'd only heard a few of their songs before but they're definitely one of my favorite visual kei bands now. Ryutaro's lyrics really appeal to me.
Also..I promise I'll be updating this journal regularly from now on. And I'm planning to finally set up a poupee (since I can't be arsed to remember my old one's info and I hadn't uploaded anything to it anyway). Expect to see lolita clothing, circle lenses, visual kei PVs and lyrics and other random related things in here from now on (including related reviews).