And to think that I'd actually been thinking of going to culinary school (to be a pastry chef <3 ).
I kind of understand why my mother didn't let me into the kitchen growing up-apart from her not wanting a repeat of an incident in which I got a 2nd degree burn the length of my entire lower arm when she asked my to lower the temperature of one of the burners on the stop top when I was too young to be anywhere near a stove (5 I think) and my arm fell into a pan of oil.
So I managed to accidentally leave a little oil in a frying pan on the burner for a grand total of 2 minutes and the pan caught fire :/ Luckily I'd turned off the burner before the flame got too high because I had to fill up a pot of water and dump it into the pan and the stove is an electric stove. And then clean up the mess of splashed ash. I swear, I'm the sorriest excuse for a female there is if someone goes by the old-school mentality of what girls should be like (not that I do or agree with ridiculous societal molds like that). I'm practically a walking safety hazard in the kitchen and as for sewing I can't do that to save my life (though I'm planning to learn since I want to dabble in fashion design). I actually just recently (as in two years ago) learned how to iron, ha ha..
I'll now resume being traumatized from being less than a meter away from a roaring flame.
02. Who's the most recent J-rock Band you've heard? Well, I've been listening to Plastic Tree a lot lately so..Plastic Tree.
03. Who's your favorite J-rock Band? Plastic Tree, the GazettE, DIR EN GREY, deadman and RENTRER EN SOI(I miss them, I'm not as partial to Satsuki's new stuff, I hate to say it since I really like him)
04. Name 6 other Bands you Like: Zodia, deadman, hideto matsumoto (a musician, not a band obviously, ha ha..), Moi dix Mois, Lareine, Girugamesh, Suicide Ali.
05. Are you a fangirl/boy? I'm not a 'fangirl', just a female fan. And I dislike fan girls/boys.
06. If yes, of Who? Ryuutarou (vo) from Plastic Tree, Ruki (vo) from the GazettE, Satsuki, Mako (vo) from deadman, and Mana (gu) from Moi dix Mois.
07. Do you cosplay? Haven't ever yet. But planning on cosplaying Saku Kyo and Daisuke (r.i.p.) from Kagerou.
08. Who? N/a
09. Do you like Dir en grey? I used to dislike them before I knew anything about them. But now I love them actually.
10. Do you like Toshiya? N/a
11. How about Kaoru? N/a
12. Die? N/a
13. Kyo? He's my favorite band member.
14. Shinya? N/a
15. What's your favorite Diru song? saku, akuro no oka and cage. I tend to like their old songs best.
16. Do you like visual bands or non-visual bands? Just visual. It's funny, most people I know of who like Japanese music like rock and pop too but visual kei is the only one that won me over.
17. What's the first J-rock song you heard? Les Miserables by Gackt (ha ha)
18. What's the most recent JRock song you've heard? If we're talking new then the GazettE's song Red and another one by them I forget right now.
19. Do you buy J-rock magazines? Sometimes. I definitely will be buying them more.
20. What's your favorite? I like Shoxx.
21. Have you ever been to any JRock concerts? Sadly not yet.
22. Which ones? N/a
23. What would you do if you saw any JRocker walking down the street in your town? I absolutely love Ryuutarou of Plastic Tree now honestly. If I ever had the chance to meet him I would give him a letter and a present and make him something; of course I'd have to mail them to him since I wouldn't have those things handy meeting him walking down the street, hah.. I would also tell him that his lyrics are so deep and beautiful and sad and genuine that they move me to tears. The latter also applies somewhat to Satsuki. Of course I'd also be floored if I met Mana or Ruki or Mako. I think my knees would buckle if I saw any of the artists I like, look up to and am inspired by.
24. Which JRocker are you most in love/lust with? This one'd actually somewhat hard for me. But if I thought about it really deeply..I think somehow I would keep coming back to Ryuutarou. I've learned not to feel more for them than beyond a fan though because people really do disappoint you. We're all human anyway after all.
25. Which three Jrockers would you most love to meet in person (Dead or alive)? Ryuutarou, Satsuki, Ruki, Hideto and Mana. I can count, I know that's five but three is far too limiting with all the wonderful visual kei bands out there.
26. Three things you would like to say to/ask them? I would tell Ryutaro that his music has helped me through emotions I always somehow found harder to express than most people and how much he's touched me with his lyrics and that I think that he must be such a beautiful person inside to write the type of lyrics that he does.
I would tell Satsuki (and will since I'm sending him fan mail) that he is one of the few people that even without meeting I can honestly say is a good person. And that his constant sadness and pain actually hurts me as a fan. Because whether I can help it or not I see my favorite musicians as people just like anyone else, as opposed to celebrities, and I can relate to much of their emotions.
I would tell Ruki that I think it's amazing how he went for his dreams even though he didn't have his parent's support and I understand what it's like to come from a broken and unsupportive family like that and that his lyrics are very deep and moving.
I would tell Hideto that I wish I'd known about him as a child of 10 years old before he died. Somehow I feel like I will never get to meet so many of the people that I look up to in my life and that does hurt me. People may say you never knew them and it's true I didn't in person but when do you ever -really- know someone? My mother lived with a man for 18 years who didn't hesitate to dump his entire family in a time-span of a year.
I would tell Mana that his clothing brand and beautiful elegance showed me who I was meant to be and that I'm eternally grateful to him for it and if it weren't for liking him so much I wouldn't have continued being interested in and discovering all the wonderful visual kei bands I like now. And I will get this message to him.
27. Which three Jrockers can you relate to most? Ryuutarou, Satsuki and Mana.
28. Which three Jrock songs do you constantly replay? Just three?.. You're joking, right?
This is going to be a hard one...
Plastic Tree-sanatorium Plastic Tree-maka na ito the GazettE-baretta
29. Do you have any Jrockers as your background? Ryuutarou.
30. Which Jrocker would you most like to get fashion/makeup advice from? Honestly, I've always been wanting to try the dark visual kei styles, so it would have to be Ryuutarou and Mako.
31. Do you read Jrock fan fiction? No, not interested.
32. What is your favourite Jrocker related dream? Ironically I never officially had any.
33. How many Jrock MP3s do you have? I'm not sure but I definitely need to update my collection, ha ha.
Hey guys. I'm sorry I haven't posted in like a year. A lot has been happening in my life and at some point I started forgetting who I was. Metaphorically speaking.
But I've realized that no matter who I date, it won't change who I -am-.
I almost felt like I'd given up on my dreams because I didn't end up being in a relationship with the type of person I thought I'd end up with but you know what? I've actually never been happier <3
For the past year I hadn't been dressing lolita except at conventions but now that I look at visual kei music and lolita fashion I realize that they were both always much more to me than just music and clothes. They're who I am. And I spent years of my life looking for them even though I had no idea what I was looking for but I knew it when I found it. I'm never going to take a break from dressing lolita again. And honestly it's something I'll try and wear as long as possible if not my entire life. (Speaking of which.. I decided to sell off most of my former lolita wardrobe over here if anyone on my f-list is interested: http://azloli.livejournal.com/159493.html#cutid1 -a friend is selling them for me- in order to refresh my wardrobe and get pieces I'll actually be happier with.
I have also decided that I will live in Japan for some time; I'm not sure how exactly I'll pull that off yet but I do have a friend who's expressed interest in talking to lolita brands about me being a foreign model for them and personally I don't care what I'd be modeling, lolita or not, as long as it's not pornographic.
In other news, my parents are getting divorced and my family is a shambles but that part I can normally handle since it's always been like that. Turns out my father isn't who I grew up thinking I knew. Lately I've been having a lot of disappointments actually.
I've been in a really low mood ever since coming back from Phoenix Comic Con three days ago and I won't mention why on here but my close friends already know and if you don't and are interested then I'll just inbox message you. Let's just say I was inspired by and wanted to be friends with someone who may have betrayed my trust even after they complimented me several times and hugged me twice and instigated the hugs both times. On that note, I've been really getting into Plastic tree since last night and my mood's probably added to that. I'd only heard a few of their songs before but they're definitely one of my favorite visual kei bands now. Ryutaro's lyrics really appeal to me.
Also..I promise I'll be updating this journal regularly from now on. And I'm planning to finally set up a poupee (since I can't be arsed to remember my old one's info and I hadn't uploaded anything to it anyway). Expect to see lolita clothing, circle lenses, visual kei PVs and lyrics and other random related things in here from now on (including related reviews).
Meaning that I'll be f-locking entries I see fit to f-lock more often.
The (new) ground rules for posting in my journal are as follows:
1. I don't really need to know your opinions about my opinions. No one on this list is in any place to criticize my viewpoints. Not saying you have to agree with me but if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all. I don't need others opinions shoved down my throat. People shouldn't think they're ones to talk when they haven't even had similar experiences.
2. I don't need to hear your sob stories, having problems isn't a contest. I deleted some entries I consider to have had things I honestly just don't want people reading, in case anyone's wondering why some entries are missing, because I don't have to validate the reasons for my opinions to anyone.
2. If you're not going to bother keeping in touch, neither will I and I'll most likely just take you off my f-list. I have enough 'friends' that don't keep in touch, some effort would be nice people. I'll most likely be doing an f-list clean up sometime soon, I'll keep you all updated about it just because I'm nice like that.
Anyway.. I'm really sorry I haven't been in touch for so long guys, I've seriously had alot to chew on these past few months. College, social time, trying to get into my chosen careers (journalism and modeling mainly), work promoting a woman's fetish clothing retail site (which, btw peoples, is eroticagothic.com so if you're into that kinda stuff, be sure to check it out. /Lol @ shameless plug-in), the weight of having to get a job to save up to go to University on my shoulders and other more personal matters.
Also, things have happened in my life that have made me question whether I want to move to Japan even temporarily anymore. Oddly I was always the one to lecture people about not giving up their dreams, but one can't have everything in life. And if things go well here then I already know what I'm choosing.
Which brings me to another issue: Alright, one of you guys on my f-list is a prospective future band member. You know who you are :P Are you still interested in that? Because I was initially planning to possibly move to California, since I have cousins there anyhow. But things have come up and I'm now not sure if I'll pursue a career as a musician anymore. If you're still willing to give things a shot though, I'll keep you updated. At the very least we'd probably be able to meet up.